Whiteparish Cricket Club online

Wilton, June 13 '09 (home - Sherfield English)

Whiteparish won by 8 wickets

Good Points

• A fine Sherfield track and outfield provided by Sharpy.

• A maiden 5 wicket haul for Paddy after ripping through the top order.

• Javed’s first catch in adult cricket. Equilibrium restored when dropping one late on.

• Great running catch at long off by Monty Coulshed after the batsman said he won’t catch that when the ball was high in the air. Stick that up yer arse!

• Incredibly, Clumsy only letting one bye through all innings.

• A great all-round team bowling and fielding performance on a large pitch.

• 75 not out for Paddy taking his average to 192 so far this season which is better than Bussey and Hussey combined.

• Another 50 for Captain Flap.

• A great victory for Whiteparish with 10 overs to spare.

• Taking the piss out of stinky Lord Harris at the Kings Head afterwards.

Bad Points

• Lots of shelled catches by Whiteparish. No chance of this improving due to the Mayor having sold the catching cradle to fund some new crockery.

• The Wilton batsmen taking on Mike’s rocket arm by running 2s and 3s every time they hit the ball in his general vicinity.

• The Captain’s catching technique – very poor and on a par with Michael Vaughan’s.

• Mike having beans for lunch – bad form whilst padding up.

• Javed’s Taliban lbw trigger on Mike. Whilst up the Kyber he wasn’t taught the right arm over to a left-hand bat not out rule.

• Mike being the only person on the pitch who laughed loudly at the opposition wicketkeeper when he took one in the plums.

• Mr Noisy on another pot hunt.

• Malcy turning up in his Land Rover with it sounding like, according to Clumsy, a 3 cylinder Reliant.

• Clumsy’s pig farmer or pikey theory of evolution in Sherfield.

• Lord Harris ogling the ladies in the Kings Head smoking shelter like Graham Rix in the schoolgirls changing room.

Summary

Wilton 163 all out off 40.4 overs (Paddy 8.4-1-20-5, Mr Noisy 8-0-46-3, Steve 9-1-31-2)

Whiteparish 165 for 2 off 31.4 overs (Paddy 75*, Captain Flap 51)

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