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1st XI vs Michelmersh & Timsbury, Regional 1 North (home) August 16 '08
On a drizzly day, Whiteparish grasped defeat from the jaws of victory which almost certainly ends their
brief but troubled stay in the division.
A last minute substitution saw Sharpy dash off to visit various charity shops for Tour mag material to be
replaced by Captain Flap of the 2nds whose game was called off earlier in the day. This was an unfortunate
cancellation as the 2nds had perhaps the strongest batting line-up ever seen on a cricket field. Not since
Don Bradman’s 1948 all conquering Australian “Invincibles” side has any cricket team been blessed with an
explosive middle order consisting of Clumsy, Chris Crew, The Bird, Jonny the Fox and a one-legged Nick Evans.
Jonny the Fox also has the added bonus of having recorded more ducks than long time record holder Courtney Walsh.
Whiteparish put the oppo in and after a shaky first couple of overs, Charlie momentarily engaged his noggin
and picked up a couple of early wickets.
At the other end, Turkleton’s military medium windmills proved to be too much for the Michelmersh batters as he
collected a well deserved fifer. His bowling consisted of an inswinger here, away swinger there, here a bouncer,
there a yorker, every ball a real corker. Incidentally, this was his first 5 wicket haul since he bagged one whilst
playing the table top cricket game “Test Match” against his brother one chilly Christmas Day.
Back at the match, Charlie’s no balls kept the score board ticking over and once his spell had finished long into
the afternoon, Lord Harris took over the reigns and continued to push the score along with his usual 4 and 6 hit freebies.
However, he did make up for it with an expert sliding stop made all the more incredible by the fact that he managed to
keep his fag in his mouth. The mud on his trousers were hardly noticeable as they blended in nicely with the rest of
his rather tasteful off-white and minging cricket flannels.
As the rain continued to fall, Pops Green and Charlie finished off the tail as M & T were bowled out for 155.
In reply, Parish started poorly as the Tubster was bowled for a Chumley. At the other end, AJ’s recent good form
continued as his guns started to open up. Dad came and went which bought Malcy to the crease. With the score progressing
nicely, AJ was triggered by Harris which brought Captain Flap of the 2nds to the crease.
With Malcy clouting the ball everywhere and ably assisted by Jazzer, the score moved past 100. Then it began to go horribly wrong.
Jazzer was then given out lbw by Michelmersh’s very own Dave East after hitting the ball first. Charlie must have left his
own brain in the changing room and picked up Pete Newton’s by mistake as he soon needlessly holed out. And so began an all
too familiar procession to and from the pavilion despite a brave 68 from Malcy as the innings fell an agonising 9 runs short of victory. What a pisser.
Even the solace of retiring to the King’s Head for the weekly Harris baiting couldn’t hide the glum faces in the changing rooms
afterwards and the stark reality of another game that should’ve been wrapped up with wickets to spare.
The cackle of the Goose could be heard long into the night.
Summary
Michelmersh & Timsbury 155 all out (Glyn Turk 5-27, Charlie Evans 4-51)
Whiteparish 147 all out (Malcolm Noble 68)
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